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rfm

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Everything posted by rfm

  1. Alarming, bad news for beer lovers! Beer News! This is alarming! Beer contains female hormones! Yes, that's right, FEMALE hormones! Last month, Montreal University and scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption. The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain Phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women. To test the theory, 100 men each drank 8 schooners of beer within a one (1) hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects, yes, 100% of all these men: 1) Argued over nothing. 2) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong. 3) Gained weight. 4) Talked excessively without making sense. 5) Became overly emotional 6) Couldn't drive. 7) Failed to think rationally, and Had to sit down while urinating. No further testing was considered necessary! Send this to the men you know to warn them about drinking too much beer! Cheers,
  2. Very nice.....I jumped a couple time cause I thought we were headed off to do a bark density test. LOL
  3. This some good reading so sit down and get ready. http://www.theweathernetwork.com/news/storm_watch_stories3&stormfile=winter_outlook_2010__2011_241110?ref=ccbox_homepage_topstories
  4. Please do tell them, ha, ha. Hey groomer when and where did you take these pictures you just posted? Thank you, Bob
  5. I see the deer bit his other hand....where is that video. LOL
  6. groomer, Glad to see you back!! Thank you for the great update. Bob
  7. > DON CHERRY of hockey night in Canada, was asked on a local live radio talk show just what he thought about the allegations of torture of > suspected terrorists. His reply prompted his ejection from the studio, but to thunderous applause from the audience. > HIS STATEMENT: > > "If hooking up one raghead terrorist prisoner's testicles to a car battery to get the truth out of the lying little camel shagger will save just one Canadian life, then I have only three things to say: > 'Red is positive, black is negative, and make sure his nuts are wet."
  8. I need a Job that allows me to ride more in Canada.

  9. Spay or neuter surgery: Myths, facts, and drawbacks........ NONE!
  10. I'm just sure that I'm related some how. LOL http://news.yahoo.com/s/yblog_upshot/20101104/od_yblog_upshot/nicest-canadian-couple-in-world-doles-out-lottery-winnings
  11. CATNUT24, Don't be fooled by groomers pictures......yes they are good but to see it in person is AWESOME!!!. My Dad (@ 79 y/o)and I rode up there last year and I kick myself for not using a couple sick days. The people were friendly and helpful every were we went. My advise....Plan your trip with some extra time, then call in sick for two more days of riding. Really you will love it, Bob
  12. Used only for times for a total of maybe 60 miles, kids just don't care much for sledding. Paid $2100. Sell for $1700. Located near Ithaca, NY email me at rfm2410@yahoo.com
  13. "The Big Dig" they sure took them to the bank and bent them over.
  14. I think your right, that is going to be sad.
  15. We can laugh at these as we're not at that point in our lives...right? TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!! An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: 'They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!' she cried. The dispatcher said, 'Stay calm. An officer is on the way.' A few minutes later, the officer radios in 'Disregard.' He says. 'She got in the back-seat by mistake.' TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !! ________________________________________________________________________ Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, live in a house together. One night the 96-year-old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters, 'Was I getting in or out of the bath?' The 94-year-old yells back, 'I don't know. I'll come up and see.' She starts up the stairs and pauses 'Was I going up the stairs or down? The 92-year-old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters, she shakes her head and says, 'I sure hope I never get that forgetful, knock on wood...' She then yells, 'I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door.' TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!! ________________________________________________________________________ 'I CAN HEAR JUST FINE!' Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March day. One remarked to the other, 'Windy, isn't it?' 'No,' the second man replied, 'it's Thursday..' And the third man chimed in, 'So am I. Let's have a beer.' TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!! _______________________________________________________________________ A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a nursing home. As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say 'Supersex...' She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her gown at him, she said, 'Supersex.' He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, 'I'll take the soup.' TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!! ____________________________________________________________________ Now this one is just too Precious...LOL! Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, 'Now don't get mad at me ... I know we've been friends for a long time, but I just can't think of your name! I've thought And thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is.. Her friend glared at her for at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, 'How soon do you need to know?' TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!! _______________________________________________________________________ SENIOR DRIVING As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, 'Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77. Please be careful!' 'Heck,' said Herman, 'It's not just one car.. It's hundreds of them!' TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!! _________________________________________________________________ DRIVING Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went on through The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself 'I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light.' After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red Again, they went right through. The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous. At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they went on through. So, She turned to the other woman and said, 'Mildred, did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!' Mildred turned to her and said, 'Oh, crap, am I driving?' TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!
  16. Oh, this is so true... Observations on Growing Older ~Your kids are becoming you....and you don't like them ...but your grandchildren are perfect! ~Going out is good. Coming home is better! ~When people say you look "Great"... they add "for your age!" ~When you needed the discount you paid full price. Now you get discounts on everything ... movies, hotels, flights, but you're too tired to use them. ~You forget names ... but it's OK because other people forgot they even knew you!!! ~The 5 pounds you wanted to lose is now 15 and you have a better chance of losing your keys than the 15 pounds. ~You realize you're never going to be really good at anything .... especially golf. ~The things you used to care to do, you no longer care to do, but you really do care that you don't care to do them anymore. ~You sleep better on a lounge chair with the TV blaring than you do in bed. It's called "pre-sleep". ~Remember when your mother said "Wear clean underwear in case you GET in an accident"? Now you bring clean underwear in case you HAVE an accident! ~You used to say, "I hope my kids GET married ... Now, "I hope they STAY married!" ~You miss the days when everything worked with just an "ON" and "OFF" switch.. ~When GOOGLE, Ipod, email, modem ... were unheard of, and a mouse was something that made you climb on a table. ~You use more 4 letter words ... "what?"..."when?" ??? ~Now that you can afford expensive jewellry, it's not safe to wear it anywhere. ~You read 100 pages into a book before you realize you've read it. ~Notice everything they sell in stores is "sleeveless"?!!! ~What used to be freckles are now liver spots. ~Everybody whispers. And You have 3 sizes of clothes in your closet ..... 2 of which you will never wear. ~~~~But old is good in some things: old songs old movies And best of all OLD FRIENDS!! Send this on to other "Old Friends!" and let them laugh in AGREEMENT!!!
  17. Happy Birthday to all you other September rug rats!!! Hope you enjoy your day in the sunshine.......or snow if your really lucky to get a plane ticket to Argentina for your birthday. Bob
  18. I too can my personal experience (break down) on two different trips snowmobiling in Quebec, and the great help I received from complete strangers. I will keep going back, and I drive 17 hours to get there. Bob (Here in VA. & to far away from the snow)
  19. The wonders of science...... enjoy All drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name. Example: the trade name is Tylenol and its generic name is Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also call Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen. The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of . . . Mycoxafloppin. Also considered wereMycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin. Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of 'cocktails', 'highballs' and just a good old-fashioned 'stiff drink'. Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO. Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them. If you don't send this to five old friends right away there will be five fewer people laughing.
  20. Engineers' Conversion Table This is pretty heavy scientific stuff.....converting units: 1. Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi 2.. 2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton 3. 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope 4. Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond 5. Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram 6. Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour = Knotfurlong 7. 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Serling 8. Half of a large intestine = 1 semicolon 9. 1,000,000 aches = 1 megahurtz 10. Basic unit of laryngitis = 1 hoarsepower 11. Shortest distance between two jokes = A straight line 12. 453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake 13. 1 million-million microphones = 1 megaphone 14. 2 million bicycles = 2 megacycles 15. 365.25 days = 1 unicycle 16. 2000 mockingbirds = 2 kilomockingbirds 17. 52 cards = 1 decacards 18. 1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 FigNewton 19. 1000 milliliters of wet socks = 1 literhosen 20. 1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche 21. 1 trillion pins = 1 terrapin 22. 10 rations = 1 decoration 23. 100 rations = 1 C-ration 24. 2 monograms = 1 diagram 25. 4 nickels = 2 paradigms 26. 2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital = 1 IV League 27. 100 Senators = Not 1 decison
  21. Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony. The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize. 'Please allow me to help. I'm a Physical Therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me, she told him.' 'Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes,' the man replied. He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands there at his groin. At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside. She administered tender and artful massage for several long moments and asked, 'How does that feel'? Feels great, he replied; but I still think my thumb's broken!
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