Jump to content

Why not? It’s all his fault right?


iceman
 Share

Recommended Posts

So whadyado on a snow-day?...

8:00 am - I made a snowman
8:10 am - A feminist passing by asked, why I didn’t make a snowwoman
8:15 am – So, I made a snowwoman
8:17 am – My nosey neighbor complained the snowwoman’s voluptuous chest was too big
8:20 am – The gay couple next door complained about why it wasn't two snowmen holding hands
8:22 am – A transgender down the block asked why didn’t I make one snowperson with no sexual parts
8:25 am – The vegans at the end of the block complained about the carrot nose, being food
8:28 am – Protesters forming calling me a racist because the snow couple is white
8:30 am – The Middle Eastern gent across the road demanded that the snowwoman be covered up
8:40 am – The police arrived saying someone had filed a complaint after having been offended
8:42 am – The feminist neighbor complained, again, that the snowwoman's broomstick needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role
8:43 am – The council on equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction
8:45 am – News crews showed up
9:00 am – I was broadcast as an alleged terrorist, racist, homophobic, sensibility offender, stirring up trouble during a difficult troubled winter
9:10 am – Violent (but mostly peaceful) rioters offended by everything marched down the street, demanding I be arrested
9:45 am – My boss called and fired me because of the negative attention‎...
 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

7 hours ago, PLAYHARD said:

So whadyado on a snow-day?...

8:00 am - I made a snowman
8:10 am - A feminist passing by asked, why I didn’t make a snowwoman
8:15 am – So, I made a snowwoman
8:17 am – My nosey neighbor complained the snowwoman’s voluptuous chest was too big
8:20 am – The gay couple next door complained about why it wasn't two snowmen holding hands
8:22 am – A transgender down the block asked why didn’t I make one snowperson with no sexual parts
8:25 am – The vegans at the end of the block complained about the carrot nose, being food
8:28 am – Protesters forming calling me a racist because the snow couple is white
8:30 am – The Middle Eastern gent across the road demanded that the snowwoman be covered up
8:40 am – The police arrived saying someone had filed a complaint after having been offended
8:42 am – The feminist neighbor complained, again, that the snowwoman's broomstick needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role
8:43 am – The council on equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction
8:45 am – News crews showed up
9:00 am – I was broadcast as an alleged terrorist, racist, homophobic, sensibility offender, stirring up trouble during a difficult troubled winter
9:10 am – Violent (but mostly peaceful) rioters offended by everything marched down the street, demanding I be arrested
9:45 am – My boss called and fired me because of the negative attention‎...
 

And the sad part is it could really happen !!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I admire whoever's got time to create this stuff!  Or any who have time to keep up on reading it!...

 

"Last week, I took my grandchildren to a restaurant. My 8-year-old grandson asked if he could say grace."

As we bowed our heads he said, "God is good, God is great. Thank you for the food and I would thank you even more if Grandpa gets us ice cream for dessert. And liberty, peace & justice for all. Amen!"

Along with the laughter and nodding of heads from the other customers nearby, I heard a woman at the next table remark, "That's what's wrong with this country. Kids today don't even know how to pray. Asking God for ice cream! Why -- I never!" .

Hearing this, my grandson burst into tears and asked me, "Did I do it wrong Grandpa? Is God mad at me?"

After I assured him that he had done a terrific job and that God was certainly not mad at him, an elderly gentleman approached the table. He winked at my grandson and said, "I happen to know that God thought that was a great prayer."

"Really?" my grandson asked.

"Cross my heart," the man replied. Then, in a theatrical whisper, he added (indicating the woman whose remark had started this whole thing), "Too bad she never asks God for ice cream. A little ice cream is sometimes good for the soul.

Naturally, I bought my grandchildren ice cream at the end of the meal. My grandson stared at his ice cream for a moment, and then he did something I will remember the rest of my life. He picked up his sundae and, without a word, walked over and placed it in front of the woman.

With a big smile he looked her in the eye and told her, "Here ma'am, this is for you, you grouchy old bitch. You must be a Democrat, shove it up your ass and cool off!"

Kind of brings a tear to your eye, doesn't it. He will make a fine Marine one day.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

40 minutes ago, PLAYHARD said:

I admire whoever's got time to create this stuff!  Or any who have time to keep up on reading it!...

 

"Last week, I took my grandchildren to a restaurant. My 8-year-old grandson asked if he could say grace."

As we bowed our heads he said, "God is good, God is great. Thank you for the food and I would thank you even more if Grandpa gets us ice cream for dessert. And liberty, peace & justice for all. Amen!"

Along with the laughter and nodding of heads from the other customers nearby, I heard a woman at the next table remark, "That's what's wrong with this country. Kids today don't even know how to pray. Asking God for ice cream! Why -- I never!" .

Hearing this, my grandson burst into tears and asked me, "Did I do it wrong Grandpa? Is God mad at me?"

After I assured him that he had done a terrific job and that God was certainly not mad at him, an elderly gentleman approached the table. He winked at my grandson and said, "I happen to know that God thought that was a great prayer."

"Really?" my grandson asked.

"Cross my heart," the man replied. Then, in a theatrical whisper, he added (indicating the woman whose remark had started this whole thing), "Too bad she never asks God for ice cream. A little ice cream is sometimes good for the soul.

Naturally, I bought my grandchildren ice cream at the end of the meal. My grandson stared at his ice cream for a moment, and then he did something I will remember the rest of my life. He picked up his sundae and, without a word, walked over and placed it in front of the woman.

With a big smile he looked her in the eye and told her, "Here ma'am, this is for you, you grouchy old bitch. You must be a Democrat, shove it up your ass and cool off!"

Kind of brings a tear to your eye, doesn't it. He will make a fine Marine one day.

Need more kids like this in today’s world. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, iceman said:

There you have it. 

Media is propaganda, plain and simple.

 

We live in NY, and can clearly see all the mistakes Cuomo has made and the thousands of people his policies have killed.  But when we talk to relatives outside NY, they consider us so lucky to live in NY with our tremendous leader.  They only see what the national media feeds them.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

6 minutes ago, SRSchang said:

We live in NY, and can clearly see all the mistakes Cuomo has made and the thousands of people his policies have killed.  But when we talk to relatives outside NY, they consider us so lucky to live in NY with our tremendous leader.  They only see what the national media feeds them.

The media is a big part of this plan. Amazing, how many people believe everything they are told. Wake up people. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

7 hours ago, iceman said:

The media is a big part of this plan. Amazing, how many people believe everything they are told. Wake up people. 

The questioning/curious mind is lacking everywhere including here in Canuckistan spoon fed by the Communist Brainwashing Command!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

15 hours ago, iceman said:

7F6C56A3-23FC-4FC0-91C8-902376C09CCA.jpeg.daee25c042388926ff9effd70346e124.jpeg

Dems want to cut medicare and medicaid to older folks who already paid for it their whole life to fund another stimulus bill, they figure it is the only way to get republicans to vote for it, and now have a civil war inside their own party....and they cannot figure out why they need a wall to protect themselves from their own countrymen....this cannot be free...we are going to be charged an entertainment fee!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 weeks later...

Sorry if this is a repeat, just cleaning out the inbox from (5 years ago) last spring...

 

This takes less than one minute and is incredibly accurate...well worth the little bit of effort I promise.

  

This test has only one question, but it's a very important one. By giving an honest answer you will discover where you stand morally.

 The test features an unlikely and completely fictional situation in which you will have to make a decision. Only you will know the results, so remember that your answer needs to be honest.

 

 THE SITUATION:

 You are in Miami with chaos all around you caused by a hurricane. There is a flood of biblical proportions.

 You are a photojournalist working for a major newspaper and you're caught in the middle of this epic disaster.

 The situation is nearly hopeless. You're trying to shoot career-making photos. There are houses and people swirling around you, some disappearing under the water.

 Nature is unleashing all of its destructive fury.

 

 THE TEST:

 Suddenly you see a woman in the water. She is fighting for her life trying not to be taken down with the debris.

 Your move closer. Somehow the woman looks like...Good Heavens it's Nancy Pelosi.

 At the same time you notice that the raging waters are about to take her under forever.

 

 YOU HAVE TWO OPTIONS:

You can save the life of Nancy Pelosi OR you can shoot a dramatic Pulitzer Prize winning photo, documenting the last minutes of one of the world's most powerful women hell-bent on the destruction of the USA.

 

 THE QUESTION:

 Here's the question and please give an honest answer:

Would you:

A) select high contrast color film, or...

B) go with the classic simplicity of black and white.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

That is a Tuff decision!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...