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rfm

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Posts posted by rfm

  1. Alarming bad news for beer lovers

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    Alarming, bad news for beer lovers!

    Beer News!

    This is alarming!

    Beer contains female hormones!

    Yes, that's right, FEMALE hormones!

    Last month, Montreal University and scientists released the results of a recent

    analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. Men should take

    a concerned look at their beer consumption.

    The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain Phytoestrogens)

    and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women.

    To test the theory, 100 men each drank 8 schooners

    of beer within a one (1) hour period.

    It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects,

    yes, 100% of all these men:

    1) Argued over nothing.

    2) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.

    3) Gained weight.

    4) Talked excessively without making sense.

    5) Became overly emotional

    6) Couldn't drive.

    7) Failed to think rationally, and

    8) Had to sit down while urinating.

    No further testing was considered necessary!

    Send this to the men you know

    to warn them about drinking too much beer!

    Cheers,

  4. Its now official

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    just checked on both french forums ,at 2 hrs 53 m and nobody know about that yet !!!

    should i tell them ????? ha !! ha !!

    groomer !!!

    Please do tell them, ha, ha.

    Hey groomer when and where did you take these pictures you just posted?

    Thank you,

    Bob

  8. Don Cherry for President

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    post-53-009542400 1290045775_thumb.jpg

    > DON CHERRY of hockey night in Canada, was asked on a local live radio

    talk show just what he thought about the allegations of torture of

    > suspected terrorists. His reply prompted his ejection from the studio,

    but to thunderous applause from the audience.

    > HIS STATEMENT:

    >

    > "If hooking up one raghead terrorist prisoner's testicles to a car

    battery to get the truth out of the lying little camel shagger will save

    just one Canadian life, then I have only three things to say:

    > 'Red is positive, black is negative, and make sure his nuts are wet."

  11. planning a trip

    in Gaspe Peninsula

    Posted · Edited by rfm

    hi catnut24 !!

    here s a few pics from trail 595 taken roughly 20/25 miles north of la cache.like coldsmoke said ,bring your camera .if it' s your first time in the gaspesie ,there ll be for sure a lots of ''woooow '' and ''haaaaaaaaa '' :yahoo:

    groomer !!!

    CATNUT24,

    Don't be fooled by groomers pictures......yes they are good but to see it in person is AWESOME!!!. My Dad (@ 79 y/o)and I rode up there last year and I kick myself for not using a couple sick days. The people were friendly and helpful every were we went.

    My advise....Plan your trip with some extra time, then call in sick for two more days of riding. :drinks:

    Really you will love it,

    Bob

  16. TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    Love it, hope to grow old enough to have those symptoms, in decent health.

    Not sure if you guys read this one, but thought you guys should get a chance to enjoy it.

    Said: Results of a recent survey found that more money has been invested in erectile disfunction, and breast implants research than alzheimer's disease. Great, all I have to look forward to is a society full of elderly people walking around with hard-ons and perky tits, but can't remember what to do with them.....

    For Groomer.

    La joke disait: Recament on a trouve que aux Etats-Unis on depense plus d'argent sur la recherche de la disfonction du penis, et les implantations des seins que sure l'alzheimers. Donc tout ce que j'ai a m'attendre quands je suis age, ces un monde remplis de personnes bande et de seins qui sons bien remplis sauf personnes peut se souvenir quoi faire avec.

    I think your right, that is going to be sad.

  17. TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    We can laugh at these as we're not at that point in our lives...right?

    TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!

    An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report

    that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she

    explains her situation to the dispatcher: 'They've

    stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and

    even the accelerator!' she cried. The dispatcher said,

    'Stay calm. An officer is on the way.' A few minutes

    later, the officer radios in 'Disregard.' He says.

    'She got in the back-seat by mistake.'

    TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!

    ________________________________________________________________________

    Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, live in a house

    together. One night the 96-year-old draws a bath. She puts

    her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters,

    'Was I getting in or out of the bath?' The

    94-year-old yells back, 'I don't know. I'll come

    up and see.' She starts up the stairs and pauses

    'Was I going up the stairs or down? The 92-year-old is

    sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her

    sisters, she shakes her head and says, 'I sure hope I

    never get that forgetful, knock on wood...' She then

    yells, 'I'll come up and help both of you as soon as

    I see who's at the door.'

    TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!

    ________________________________________________________________________

    'I CAN HEAR JUST FINE!'

    Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf

    one fine March day. One remarked to the other, 'Windy,

    isn't it?' 'No,' the second man replied,

    'it's Thursday..' And the third man chimed in,

    'So am I. Let's have a beer.'

    TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!

    _______________________________________________________________________

    A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a

    nursing home. As she walked, she would flip up the hem of

    her nightgown and say 'Supersex...' She walked up to

    an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her gown at him,

    she said, 'Supersex.' He sat silently for a moment

    or two and finally answered, 'I'll take the

    soup.'

    TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!

    ____________________________________________________________________

    Now this one is just too Precious...LOL!

    Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over

    the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and

    adventures Lately, their activities had been limited to

    meeting a few times a week to play cards.

    One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the

    other and said, 'Now don't get mad at me ... I know

    we've been friends for a long time, but I just can't

    think of your name! I've thought And thought, but I

    can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is..

    Her friend glared at her for at least three minutes she

    just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, 'How

    soon do you need to know?'

    TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!

    _______________________________________________________________________

    SENIOR DRIVING

    As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car

    phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice

    urgently warning him, 'Herman, I just heard on the news

    that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77.

    Please be careful!' 'Heck,' said Herman,

    'It's not just one car.. It's hundreds of them!'

    TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!

    _________________________________________________________________

    DRIVING

    Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both

    could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising

    along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red,

    but they just went on through The woman in the passenger

    seat thought to herself 'I must be losing it. I could

    have sworn we just went through a red light.'

    After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection

    and the light was red Again, they went right through. The

    woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light

    had been red but was really concerned that she was losing

    it. She was getting nervous.

    At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red

    and they went on through. So, She turned to the other woman

    and said, 'Mildred, did you know that we just ran

    through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us

    both!'

    Mildred turned to her and said, 'Oh, crap, am I driving?'

    TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!

  18. Oh, this is so true....

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    Oh, this is so true...

    Observations on Growing Older

    ~Your kids are becoming you....and you don't like them ...but your grandchildren are perfect!

    ~Going out is good. Coming home is better!

    ~When people say you look "Great"... they add "for your age!"

    ~When you needed the discount you paid full price. Now you get discounts on everything ... movies, hotels, flights, but you're too tired to use them.

    ~You forget names ... but it's OK because other people forgot they even knew you!!!

    ~The 5 pounds you wanted to lose is now 15 and you have a better chance of losing your keys than the 15 pounds.

    ~You realize you're never going to be really good at anything .... especially golf.

    ~The things you used to care to do, you no longer care to do, but you really do care that you don't care to do them anymore.

    ~You sleep better on a lounge chair with the TV blaring than you do in bed. It's called "pre-sleep".

    ~Remember when your mother said "Wear clean underwear in case you GET in an accident"? Now you bring clean underwear in case you HAVE an accident!

    ~You used to say, "I hope my kids GET married ... Now, "I hope they STAY married!"

    ~You miss the days when everything worked with just an "ON" and "OFF" switch..

    ~When GOOGLE, Ipod, email, modem ... were unheard of, and a mouse was something that made you climb on a table.

    ~You use more 4 letter words ... "what?"..."when?" ???

    ~Now that you can afford expensive jewellry, it's not safe to wear it anywhere.

    ~You read 100 pages into a book before you realize you've read it.

    ~Notice everything they sell in stores is "sleeveless"?!!!

    ~What used to be freckles are now liver spots.

    ~Everybody whispers.

    And You have 3 sizes of clothes in your closet .....

    2 of which you will never wear.

    ~~~~But old is good in some things: old songs old movies And best of all OLD FRIENDS!!

    Send this on to other "Old Friends!" and let them laugh in AGREEMENT!!!

  20. Nice Quebecois Experience August 2010

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    NW Vermont

    Great experience/story. I can not say enough good things about the people from Quebec. When ever you have a problem they go out of their way to help you. I have had a few of these myself and know of others who have also had them. When I hear people say they had the opposite happen to them I just don't understand it. Just my $.2.

    I too can my personal experience (break down) on two different trips snowmobiling in Quebec, and the great help I received from complete strangers.

    I will keep going back, and I drive 17 hours to get there.

    Bob

    (Here in VA. & to far away from the snow)

  21. The wonders of science

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    The wonders of science...... enjoy

    All drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name.

    Example: the trade name is Tylenol and its generic name is Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also call Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.

    The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of . . . Mycoxafloppin.

    Also considered wereMycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.

    Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer.

    It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one.

    Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of 'cocktails', 'highballs' and just a good old-fashioned 'stiff drink'.

    Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.

    Thought for the day:

    There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research.

    This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

    If you don't send this to five old friends right away there will be five fewer people laughing.

  22. New Conversion Table

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    Engineers' Conversion Table

    This is pretty heavy scientific stuff.....converting units:

    1. Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi

    2.. 2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton

    3. 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope

    4. Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond

    5. Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram

    6. Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour = Knotfurlong

    7. 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Serling

    8. Half of a large intestine = 1 semicolon

    9. 1,000,000 aches = 1 megahurtz

    10. Basic unit of laryngitis = 1 hoarsepower

    11. Shortest distance between two jokes = A straight line

    12. 453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake

    13. 1 million-million microphones = 1 megaphone

    14. 2 million bicycles = 2 megacycles

    15. 365.25 days = 1 unicycle

    16. 2000 mockingbirds = 2 kilomockingbirds

    17. 52 cards = 1 decacards

    18. 1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 FigNewton

    19. 1000 milliliters of wet socks = 1 literhosen

    20. 1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche

    21. 1 trillion pins = 1 terrapin

    22. 10 rations = 1 decoration

    23. 100 rations = 1 C-ration

    24. 2 monograms = 1 diagram

    25. 4 nickels = 2 paradigms

    26. 2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University

    Hospital = 1 IV League

    27. 100 Senators = Not 1 decison

  24. funny golf joke

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as

    her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next

    hole.

    The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together

    at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in

    agony. The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to

    apologize. 'Please allow me to help. I'm a Physical Therapist and I

    know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me, she told him.'

    'Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes,' the man

    replied. He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still

    clasping his hands there at his groin. At her persistence, however, he

    finally allowed her to help. She gently took his hands away and laid

    them to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside.

    She administered tender and artful massage for several long moments

    and asked, 'How does that feel'?

    Feels great, he replied; but I still think my thumb's broken!

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