A couple of chuckles for you today

[rfm]

Catholic Dog

Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for

company.. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest

and

asked, 'Father, my dog is dead... Could ya' be saying' a mass for the

poor

creature?'

Father Patrick replied, 'I'm afraid not; we cannot have services for

an

animal in the church.... But there are some Baptists down the lane,

and

there's no tellin' what they believe. Maybe they'll do something for

the

creature.'

Muldoon said, 'I'll go right away Father. Do ya' think $5,000 is enough to

donate to them for the service?'

Father Patrick exclaimed, 'Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus! Why didn't ya tell

me the dog was Catholic?

==

Donation

Father O'Malley answers the phone. 'Hello, is this Father O'Malley?'

'It is!'

'This is the IRS. Can you help us?'

'I can!'

'Do you know a Ted Houlihan?'

'I do!'

'Is he a member of your congregation?'

'He is!'

'Did he donate $10,000 to the church?'

'He will.'

==

Senility

An elderly man went to his doctor and said, 'Doc, I think I'm getting

senile.. Several times lately, I have forgotten to zip up.'

'That's not senility,' replied the doctor. 'Senility is when you forget to

zip down.'

==

Marriage Humour

Wife: 'What are you doing?'

Husband: Nothing.

Wife: 'Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an

hour.'

Husband: 'I was looking for the expiration date.'

-------------------------------

Wife : 'Do you want dinner?'

Husband: 'Sure! What are my choices?'

Wife: 'Yes or no.'

--------------------------------------------------------

Stress Reliever

Girl: 'When we get married, I want to share all your worries,

troubles and lighten your burden.'

Boy: 'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any

worries or troubles.'

Girl: 'Well that's because we aren't married yet.'

------------------------------

A newly married man asked his wife, 'Would you have married me if my

father hadn't left me a fortune?'

'Honey,' the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have married you, NO MATTER

WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!'