Jump to content

Bernard turns 100!!!!!


zeusand
 Share

Recommended Posts

Happy Birthday Bernard!!!

Hope you enjoy the games. Feel free to add others.

GAMES FOR WHEN WE ARE OLDER

1. Sag, you're It.

2. Hide and go pee

3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear.

4. Kick the bucket

5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over.

6. Musical recliners.

7. Simon says something incoherent.

8. Pin the Toupee on the bald guy

SIGNS OF MENOPAUSE:

1. You sell your home heating system at a yard sale.

2. You have to write post-it notes with your kids' names on them.

3. You change your underwear after a sneeze.

OLD IS WHEN:

1. You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have

to go

along.

2. Getting a little action means I don't need fiber today.

3. Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.

4. An all-nighter means not getting up to pee!!

PONDERISMS

1. I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people

die

of natural causes.

2. Garden Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing

a

weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the

ground

easily, it is a valuable plant.

3. The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a

replacement.

4. Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

5. In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world

is

weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

6. How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a

whole

box to start a campfire?

7. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll

squeeze

these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out?'

8. Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there? I'm gonna

eat the

next thing that comes outta its butt.'

9. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Have a great day!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...