Funny Stuff

[NSHM]

 

[PLAYHARD]

I dunno about turbos n stuff, but this guy's TOTALLY contagious...

 

 

 

 

[NSHM]

As an elderly man was at the cemetery bidding his wife farewell, 
the graveside service just barely finished, when there was a
massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning,
accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance.

The little old man looked at the preacher and calmly said,
'Well......she's there.'

 

An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse
he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says,
'Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used
to put the curse on you.' The old man says without hesitation,
'I now pronounce you man and wife.'

 

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.
Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, 'Herman,
I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on
Interstate 77. Please be careful!'   'Hell,' said Herman,
'It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!'

[NSHM]

http://quebecrider.com/forums/uploads/monthly_2023_02/image.thumb.png.6548d01dcaf97845078c8f0d2b92beba.png

[NSHM]

http://quebecrider.com/forums/uploads/monthly_2023_03/image.png.7eefe8baacaf88ed0c4f8befd4576eba.pnghttp://quebecrider.com/forums/uploads/monthly_2023_03/image.png.a6c73eeca8b7e0dbd95383eca36e3883.pnghttp://quebecrider.com/forums/uploads/monthly_2023_03/image.png.dcb2f3d98fac484f9aa0272a8a0c8898.pnghttp://quebecrider.com/forums/uploads/monthly_2023_03/image.png.1dd9711917d24e2b5fcf01a66301440e.png

[NSHM]

Admission to The Pearly Gates

 

The first applicant of the day explains that his last day was not a good one.

 

"I came home early and found my wife lying naked in bed. She claimed she had just got out of the shower.  Well, her hair was dry and I checked the shower and it was completely dry too. I knew she was into some hanky-panky and I began to look for her lover. I went onto the balcony of our 9th-floor apartment and found the guy clinging to the rail by his fingertips. I was so angry that I began bashing his fingers with a flower pot. He let go and fell, but his fall was broken by some awnings and bushes. On seeing he was still alive I found super human strength to drag our antique cedar chest to the balcony and throw it over. It hit the man and killed him.  At this point the stress got to me and I suffered a massive heart attack and died.”

 

Saint Peter thanked him for his story and sent him on to the waiting room.

 

The second applicant said that his last day was his worst.

 

"I was on the roof of an apartment building working on the AC equipment and I stumbled over my tools and toppled off the building. I managed to grab onto the balcony rail of a 9th-floor apartment but some idiot came rushing out on the balcony and bashed my hands with a flower pot. I fell but hit some awnings and bushes and survived, but as I looked up I saw a huge chest falling toward me. I tried to crawl out of the way but failed and was hit and killed by the chest.”

 

Saint Peter couldn't help but chuckle as he directs the man to the waiting room. Saint Peter is still chuckling when his third customer of the day enters.

 

He apologizes and says "I doubt that your last day was as interesting as the two fellows that arrived here just before you.”

 

“I don't know," replies the man. "Picture this, I'm naked, hiding in this cedar chest...”

 

 

 

[Pipemaster]

Great !  🤣

[iceman]

Brought to you by Anheuser Busch

 

[iceman]

[iceman]

[NSHM]

http://quebecrider.com/forums/uploads/monthly_2023_04/image.png.2fe2bc77271c829ea6dfda3664ab0fd2.pnghttp://quebecrider.com/forums/uploads/monthly_2023_04/image.png.30ab92e75d2592dff23f0308840ddc84.pnghttp://quebecrider.com/forums/uploads/monthly_2023_04/image.png.994bff5d72ef3a12415702d1d4f7ec89.pnghttp://quebecrider.com/forums/uploads/monthly_2023_04/image.png.ed7d0ed18e28aa1761796d57ebfec687.png

[NSHM]

 

[iceman]

 

[iceman]

[iceman]

[iceman]

Probably way too soon for this

 

[iceman]

and…..

 

[iceman]

[iceman]

[iceman]

[iceman]

[iceman]

I can relate 

 

[NSHM]

Wives ,   LOL

 

https://apis.mail.yahoo.com/ws/v3/mailboxes/@.id==VjN-WVUw6m5p3KzFKrVpULwvEYx4COhd1MxJEPTXHSxWQklO3EFzmRycc7aEZbkg9VNx_tmbZU_QP6bd5QzJLzvu9w/messages/@.id==AOYgdR4wnG0-ZOEJ3w32OGhh0WA/content/parts/@.id==2/refresh?appid=YMailNorrin&ymreqid=acdd9f53-a5ac-a2b6-1c95-040005011600

[iceman]

[GSX800]

Now he’s coming for your ceiling fans.